By late afternoon on Christmas Eve, the group chats can make it seem as though everyone has somewhere to be. There are photographs of crowded kitchens, a train platform, a table with more chairs than yours. Your own evening may look quite different.
Perhaps you chose the time alone. Perhaps work, distance or a change of plans chose it for you. You can make something of the evening without having to decide that the whole situation is wonderful.
Start with the few hours you actually have. A good Christmas Eve on your own needs a shape you can live inside, not a schedule that keeps you busy until bedtime.
Decide what kind of company you want
Being alone for dinner does not mean you have to be out of touch all evening. You might want a call while you cook, a walk with a neighbour before it gets dark, or a film started at the same time as a friend in another city.
Make the invitation specific. “Could we talk for twenty minutes around six?” is easier to answer than “We should catch up sometime.” It also leaves the rest of the evening yours.
You may prefer very little contact. In that case, let someone who might worry know what you are doing. Then put the phone somewhere you will not pick it up every time another photograph arrives.
Give dinner some attention
Cook the meal you want to eat. It does not have to resemble a family Christmas dinner scaled down to one person. Pasta, a bowl of soup with good bread, or something collected earlier from a favourite place can all belong to the evening.
Set the table before you sit down. Use a plate you like. Move the unopened post somewhere else. These are practical ways of making a place for yourself, especially if the table has spent the week serving as a desk.
If cooking feels like a chore, decide that in advance and make another plan. You do not owe the evening a performance.
Keep one tradition, change another
There may be a song, a particular film or a recipe you still want. Keep that part. You can leave the rest alone this year.
You could also make a different association with the date: a late-afternoon walk on the same route, a photograph from the same window, a letter to someone you miss. Choose something small enough that you would willingly do it again.
A piece of jewellery can be part of that if wearing one helps mark an occasion for you. It can equally be the jumper you always reach for. The important detail is that you chose it for this evening.
Leave room for the evening to be mixed
You might enjoy the film and still wish someone were on the sofa beside you. A good dinner will not settle every feeling about the day. You can let a pleasant hour be a pleasant hour without asking it to prove anything larger.
Before the evening begins, write down three loose anchors: what you will eat, whether you want to speak to someone, and one thing you would like to do after dinner. Leave the time between them open. If a friend calls unexpectedly, or you decide to go to bed early, the plan has done its job.
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